Big sigh

When you wanted something so much but you just can't get it for many reasons, you are forced to give up, how do u feel? I guess no one can understand my feeling now, I have no choice but to follow the decision. It's suppose to be something very happy, at least I thought it was, never thought the result is so heart breaking. It's the saddest thing in my life that i have to make this decision, I don't even know is it the right decision, maybe I'll regret later, but what can I do, I feel so helpless.

He will never understand how I feel, somehow I don't understand how he feels too, but seem like thing that is important to me doesn't important to him, and that's why I'm staying agony alone, which he never understand how sad to make this decision. Maybe I'm not mature as him, I don't really think of the consequences, but I know what is important to me and I don't want to lost it so badly! I feel so disappoint and unhappy, im losing him forever T.T

- Baby I love you, deepest from my heart-